Gabrielle's Story

 
 

I can vividly picture my early years in the French Canadian countryside. I was an intensely solitary and introverted kid. When there were guests at our house, the nearby forest was my refuge to play by myself. For all my shyness, however, I found myself drawn to the camera. I’d often reenact the actress’s performances from my favorite movie scenes, and whenever I saw that little red recording light, it seemed to whisper “I see you.” Around other people, I was anxious, but in front of a camera, I was transported to a place outside of time, where nothing was threatening and all was at peace.

As a kid, I thought I wanted to be a sociologist, but realized that I just wasn’t built for an academic life. I was drawn to art, film, and writing. In adolescence, my friends saw something in me as we worked on film projects — a talent and a passion. Their belief in me was contagious, and before long, I came to believe in myself. I was very into poetry, specifically English-language poetry because its gender-neutral language gave me an outlet to express the femininity I was hiding back then. Buoyed by my friends, I shared my poetry at an open mic in Quebec, and over time I gained more confidence, not only as an artist but also as a trans person.

Then, in 2016, I landed a leading role in the film Those Who Make Revolutions Halfway Only Dig Their Own Graves. After the movie came out, I started to be recognized, and headlines labeled me a “trans actress.” At the time, it was rare to see a trans woman on screen, and being the first trans actress nominated for a Canadian Screen Award, nearly every interview focused on my transness. I wanted to discuss how I prepared for that role, its challenges, and my process of becoming the character. Actors, to me, are architects of the mind and singers of emotions — there is a big storm happening in our heads as we work on a character, and I think it’s a fascinating aspect of the craft to share. Even so, I don’t resent people for their fixation on me as a trans person. In 2016 and 2017, it was groundbreaking.

When you are seen as a threat simply because of who you are, in a sense you have no choice but to become political in every possible way. Everything you do becomes political by the mere fact of your existence. Your life becomes politicized, and it’s hard to avoid. It’s tiring to try to convince people that you aren’t a threat, that you just want to live your life and contribute to the world. But what else can you do?

My most politically-coded work is my poetry, as well as in my novel Dandelion Daughter (2023), which is inspired by my life and the challenges I had to face as a transgender woman. The leitmotif in my writing is a call for peace and respect. I’m happy to report that Dandelion Daughter won the Prix des Libraires du Québec in 2022. But the most rewarding aspect of my work might simply be the impact of my presence as a public figure.

In 2017, I was invited onto one of the most watched TV shows in Quebec, Tout le Monde en Parle (2004–), to discuss my Those Who Make Revolutions Halfway nomination and also my life as a trans person. Since then, so many opportunities have opened up for me, for example becoming a spokesperson for Interligne, a non-profit organization advocating for LGBT rights. Following that, I got so many letters, including one that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. It was from a trans woman who was in the hospital because she tried to kill herself. She wrote to say that my seeing me on the talk show from her hospital bed gave her the courage to keep living.

Maybe my activism closed some doors because I’m labeled as “the trans actress”, new doors are opening every day. There is always a way, but you have to keep dreaming and fighting. It’s a full-time job.

In a way, I go where the wind blows, like the floating seeds of a dandelion. I trust the process. I love the fact that my writing, activism, and acting all feed each other. And I love the voice I have been given to speak up and speak out.

I was moved by playing Klas Batalo in Those Who Make Revolutions Halfway. It was my professional first role, and I was still a wide-eyed baby actress. I didn’t have the benefit of formal training from an acting school. I was a nervous wreck. I’ve adored each of the characters I’ve played, such as a trans sexologist in love with a cis man for a Quebec TV show Une autre histoire (2019–2022). The role was so, so beautifully written and brought to life. I received a lot of fan mail after that aired, mostly from trans women, thanking me and saying it inspired them to remain hopeful for a brighter future. Never underestimate the power of trans representation in any kind of media. When I was a kid back in the 90s, trans people were invisible. I had no one to look to. But things are changing, and I find it so exciting. We have so much to bring to the table, and such a beautiful inner light to shine. We are more powerful than we think, as long as we don’t forget our sense of community.

I intend to do my part by continuing to speak, write, and act. I’ll keep fighting to be recognized and respected as a human being. Once I know we’re in a better place, maybe I’ll take a much-needed vacation! Until then, let’s keep wearing our hearts on our sleeves and working toward a brighter future. Trans people have always existed, and we’re not going anywhere!

For more about Gabrielle, follow her on Instagram.

 
 

Artist Notes

The whole painting reflects the early years of introverted Gabrielle finding solace in the forest nearby her house. The flower indicates her eventual blooming into a full-fledged artist, be it as an actress, or be it writing poetry. The surreal composure, like fishes, and flower in the sky denotes her ability to explore everything with a tinge of curiosity. Gabrielle is featured in the illustration with the flowing gown being content in her world of art.
— Karthik Aithal

Published Jul 1, 2024

 

Published in Issue XII: Cinema

 
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