Kat’s Story
M y father is a photographer. Because of him, I grew up surrounded by the medium. He also bought me my first camera. My love affair with photography grew from there.
I got into BDSM and fetish culture in my early 20s after flipping through a copy of Best of "Bizarre" (2001), which featured the illustrations and photographs of John Willie. These images didn’t just stick with me; they ignited a lifelong fascination with the culture. As an artist, I found inspiration in Willie's work — along with that of Pierre Molinier, Joel Peter Witkin, John Sutcliffe, and EJ Bellocq — and I found myself attracted to the aesthetic because it enabled me to step away from myself and become a blank canvas. It allowed me to transcend the black-and-white world of male/female and become an object. In some cases, through fetish masks and attire, it enabled me to turn myself into a doll.
My Miss Meatface persona came into being in 2014. The year before, at 29, I had been diagnosed with a rare form of cervical cancer, which led to a total hysterectomy. Soon after, I found myself standing in my bedroom with a stream of questions running through my head. The most pressing of these was: What does it mean for me as a woman to no longer possess these organs upon which society places such importance? This question led me to use photography to delve into my feelings toward my sexuality, body, and the world around me. I was also in an incredibly unhappy relationship at the time and began taking self-portraits that reflected how I felt inside. I took up the art of special effects makeup so that I could give myself gaping face wounds, black eyes, and bloody noses, using all the outward signs of domestic violence to make a visual statement. It was at this point that I came up with the name “Miss Meatface”.
In May 2017, my grandmother suffered a massive stroke and had to be moved to a 24-hour care facility. As a child, I had been her shadow. When she moved away, the house was left sitting empty and untouched, maintaining the same appearance it had had for years before. So, the summer after her stroke, I went in with my photographic equipment and shot Miss Meatface. During that process, I found myself not only reliving my childhood memories, but also channeling the spirit of a woman who had played such an important role in my life. It was a meditative experience that allowed me to explore myself, my grandmother, and my family history. I am so incredibly thankful to have had the opportunity to do that.
I have found the more I delve into Miss Meatface, the more I get to know myself as Kat Toronto. The persona has allowed me to explore parts of myself emotionally, mentally, and physically that I don’t think I could have explored alone. Sexuality has been such a taboo subject for so long that I’m not sure it will ever be openly accepted in what we consider the “mainstream”, but it has come a long way. Will all forms of sexuality ever be fully accepted? That’s an incredibly tough question, but I believe as artists, it is our job to push boundaries, explore them, and create new ones.
For more about Kat, check out her website, or follow her on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, or purchase the Miss Meatface limited edition polaroid photo zine.
Artist Notes
“Kat is presented as Miss Meatface in the centre of this image. The spiral in the illustration indicates her journey into the Miss Meatface persona. It features a female reproductive system to symbolise her total hysterectomy, a figure in latex to reference BDSM and fetish culture, and a camera like the first one she received as a gift from her father. There is also an elderly woman with her shadow in the spiral because as a child, Kat was her grandmother’s shadow.”
Published Sep 30, 2020
Updated Aug 30, 2023
