Mrs. J’s Story
Growing up, becoming a stripper was never on my radar. It was only after I moved to Guam to be with my military boyfriend that I even went to a strip club for the first time. Later, I learned that he was friends with a few of the girls who worked there.
One night, we went to a club nearby to meet up with another couple. After a while, the girl casually started to teach me some moves. She thought I was very good and started complimenting me profusely, telling me: “You should totally do this!”
I was very shy, but eventually I decided to contact the club managers. This led to a series of fights with my boyfriend, but eventually, I went in. They hired me.
The first night I worked, I came home with a huge sum of money — $1000! Twenty-two-year-old me never had that much in her pocket before, nor was she used to earning it in a single day. It was great.
I worked in that premier club for a year and half. I also met my best friend there, who was a dancer too. Because of this shared experience, she is one of the few people who understands everything about me. She is someone with whom I can be my whole self.
My time as a dancer was one of the most impactful and positive experiences of my life, but I never danced again after I left Guam. Now, almost twenty years later, I work as a social worker in a medical setting. I work with individuals between 3-80, many of whom have significant economic and educational barriers. My current employer, co-workers and supervisors have no idea that I was a stripper before — and though I would really love to share that part of my life with them, I fear misunderstandings.
I am a woman who was empowered by dancing, and also one who is currently a professional in an entirely different field. I am not one without the other. Both are a part of me — and yet, I feel compelled to hide this piece of myself from most of the people in my current circle in order to avoid others' fears, criticisms and unfair judgements.
I am not perfect, but I have always tried to live my life fully. I have no regrets, but I still feel a constant sense of tension as I continue to hide this part of my life. Someday, I hope that I will be able to share my complete self with everyone. In the meantime, I’ll just keep living as joyfully and lovingly as I can.
Artist Notes
Published May 1, 2020
Updated Oct 25, 2022